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just a weird thought

Catharsis.

Lost, again 

Adulterated truth is told through unaverting eyes. 

Improbable lies are covered in fake smiles. 

Unachieved dreams are wept in the night 

Innocents are blamed for not seeing things right 

Life decisions made in the high of deceitful delight 

Cunning and dishonesty triumph over love’s light 

Failures smother one in hopes’ disguise 

The fu*k is wrong with this thing called  life? 

-Iflah Laraib 

Illusion

I thought she was dead. I thought, rather wished, that she was gone forever. Hadn’t I smothered her long enough? It had been so long since I had heard her trembling voice or seen her fearful eyes that I was certain she was gone for good this time and I was me again.

But I was proven wrong when she manifested herself in all her former pitiable form,  through my body. She had been crawling beneath my skin all this time, peeking through my eyes, whispering one pitch below my voice. She was always there, just sedated enough on the temporary belief that life was good again and yet partially awake for the fear that it won’t last. Why the fear? I thought I had buried it deep enough that none could discover it. I was sure this was my final act of making her disappear forever. What was it that was still fueling her? Why had she survived? Would she ever leave me be?

-Iflah Laraib

Unrealized

Standing underneath the summer-night sky

staring at the zenith, bare feet on grass,

mind wandering farther than sight,

the gentle midnight breeze caressing her cheeks

while the nocturnal creatures offered her company;

she gasped at the sudden cognizance

Of her own insignificant existence

in the wake of the universe’s vastness.

It felt like she could easily drown in its depths,

dissolve in its dust, or disappear in a whiff among its elements

without affecting its functioning in the least.

Subconsciously – keeping her visage fixed at the stars

that stared back at her, shimmering with astonishment;

she spread her arms and closed her eyes

waiting to vanish into nothingness,

wanting to be effaced for her triviality,

longing desperately to be disentangled from the body

that caged her so wild a spirit, and wake up

somewhere in the middle of nowhere in the sky.

She let her mind wander far away, into unknown galaxies

let her heart beat, race and somersault the way it wanted

she let herself forget all about life hoped her life would forget her

she could hear the moon whispering lullabies to the stars

and feel her body float like that of a planet.

She pictured herself unwinding, losing form,

slowly fading into air like all her dreams once did,

while gently shedding all the memories in the process –

so that all that remained of her was a free, unsullied soul.

Several minutes later, when she opened her eyes

to behold her new abode in the skies,

she found her bare feet still on the cold grass.

 

-Iflah Laraib

 

 

Moving skies

Against the velvety winter skies

Smoky clouds do swirl and rise

Like a sea of souls, long demised.

Eclipsing the tender moon from her eyes – 

Her portal of hope, losing its light. 

Conspiring with the winds, they materialize 

Into the forgotten faces of the very lies

That buried her innocent dreams alive. 

The darkness deepens by several shades

Her silenced agony slowly awakes

As the clouds above take abominable shapes. 

Through designed medley of motions ghast

Excorcising the wisps of hope that could outlast

Eerie shadows upon her heart they cast

Until all life within her freezes, at last. 

-Iflah Laraib 

It’s okay 

I failed, despite trying 
But that’s okay. 

I trusted while they were lying 

But that’s okay. 

I stumbled for the whole universe was defying 

And that’s okay. 

I shed tears for reasons I cannot outline 

That too, is okay. 

Because each failure, every trust subdued 

Each obstacle, every moment rued

Has made my heart and soul into mosaics 

Of light and dark, and all their shades

It’s all okay, now I can see

That it was all a means to set me free. 

-Iflah Laraib 

Antebellum

I grope the dark corners of my heart

Picking out things I don’t need anymore

I frisk the folds of my memories

To straighten and spread the stale ones out

into the warm sunshine.

I let go of the dilapidated thoughts

that have suffocated me night and day.

I shall restore my soul to antebellum, today.

 

-Iflah Laraib

A dandelion’s tale

Boorish clouds gave thunderous remarks 

At a little dandelion struggling to bloom

Vexed winds frowned at its persistent petals

While the Sun became furious at it’s hopeful endeavors.

Outraged, they all conspired together into one harsh day 

And won.

-Iflah Laraib 

Just a weird thought 

If I dissolve into the sea, as it calls to an eternal slumber, 

Let my soul be carried by its waves, to a cosmos of forgotten truths.  

If I drown into its mystical depths to join the relics deep below 

Let my screams be damped into whispers by its turbulence, 

Let the ripples of my tears write your name, again and again.  

If, silently, I walk into these waters and be swallowed

Like the burning sun, only to extinguish forever, 

Would you care? Oh! Would you care? 

-Iflah Laraib 

Truth

Serve me the truth

Cold and bare

Let the spikes

rip my heart.

Let the pain

flow through my veins.

Let the gruesome reality

crush my dreams.

Hell, I would prefer

to be broken

and then rise again

than never know that all my life

I was your game.

-Iflah Laraib

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