An uneasy silence resonates in this room

with the beating of my heart.

An emptiness emanates from these walls

and crawls deep into my temples.

The quiet air becomes a perfect backdrop

for buried memories to rise again.

Thus the ground cracks, and slowly splits asunder

to expose a sea brimming with my past.

Something pulls me, I fall and begin to drown

in the bloody sea of my own painful history.

I see my past, swim past me –

people I have known, places I have been to.

I see myself making mistakes,

running away and inflicting suffering.

I drown deeper, into the memories

from farther back in time –

adult tribulations, fears, dreams;

adolescent wishes, anger, frustration.

I drown until it gets too dark to see

and I don’t seem to be closing the bottom.

The sea is too deep.

There has been too much pain.

I keep drowning, drowning deeper

into remains of the memories that I had long buried.

I can’t see but I can hear them wailing –

childhood fantasies.

I feel some of them brush past me as I drown.

The sea is too deep.

I keep drowning, drowning,

until slumber takes over.

-Iflah Laraib

 

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